Topic: co dependency

It’s a much-repeated observation of psychology, that people feel an urge to act in ways that are consistent with their previous actions.

If you love someone who is struggling with addiction or alcoholism, you can help their journey to recovery by learning some simple communications rules.

It might be a friend, or a colleague. Maybe an ex, or a sort-of relationship. Might be a relative who doesn’t live with you. In any case, their problems are draining YOU of energy and time, and the stress is mounting. It’s a toxic relationship.

With some people, it’s better not to answer,because they’ll just argue with you anyway. In that case, smile and depart the scene.

The way you feel changes over time — and that’s why people keep going to meetings.

What can a newbie reasonably expect from participation in Alanon et al? Support, although perhaps of a type you don’t initially recognize, since it doesn’t involve much sympathy.

If you’ve made friends among people who share your experience and are willing to listen, you’re miles ahead of most family members, who still have no place where they can safely vent their own problems.

Family programs like Al-anon and Alateen can help us learn ways to recover from the effects of someone else’s addiction, and help us contribute to their recovery

A primary enabler is someone whose well-established pattern of enabling permits the alcoholic or addict to continue drinking or drug use.

Once someone with alcoholism acknowledges the need for professional help, even insincerely, the biggest obstacle is gone.