Topic: boundaries

Stress builds up beneath your awareness. Then it passes a certain level and suddenly, you’re really aware of it.

You may have unintentionally established a pattern of saying things you didn’t really mean, or making promises you didn’t keep, or threatening consequences that never came to pass.

It might be a friend, or a colleague. Maybe an ex, or a sort-of relationship. Might be a relative who doesn’t live with you. In any case, their problems are draining YOU of energy and time, and the stress is mounting. It’s a toxic relationship.

Always good to collect opinions from others. But when you feel you’ve talked to enough people, try applying ‘impact analysis’ to the issue.

Countertransference issues can be a genuine hazard in our field. If allowed to continue, it can lead to some pretty spectacular incidents.

Counselors and therapists are — and I’m generalizing shamelessly here, so forgive me — warm, empathetic, even sympathetic by nature.

With some people, it’s better not to answer,because they’ll just argue with you anyway. In that case, smile and depart the scene.

An agenda refers to the client’s underlying plan or program. Not just what he hopes to accomplish, but the things he’s determined not to do.

For some clients, particularly those with problems with rules and authority, their experience with boundaries is probably as important as anything that happens in counseling.

As a professional, you have an agenda to fulfill. So too does the addict. His agenda is very different, but he’s even more committed to it.