How to Talk so Someone With Addiction Will Listen (families)

What do you intend to prove, anyway, and to whom? That you can stay sober, or that you can drink again?

In addictions, a compulsion is usually expressed as a powerful, perhaps even overwhelming urge to continue gambling, drinking, whatever.

Stress builds up beneath your awareness. Then it passes a certain level and suddenly, you’re really aware of it.

She had to relearn truthfulness, a day at a time, much the way the victim of a serious stroke might have to relearn speech.

Suddenly we’re missing obvious warning signs, ignoring key markers of danger, or simply deciding to take a leap of faith at exactly the wrong moment.

Nonetheless, years of drinking and drugging and lapsing and relapsing will invariably have an effect on the victim of addiction.

We recognize that for some, change can be really difficult. Good intentions aren’t enough.

It can be flagrant or subtle, but damage it will be. Sadly, the drinker is usually the last one to become aware of it. In fact, many never do.

You may have unintentionally established a pattern of saying things you didn’t really mean, or making promises you didn’t keep, or threatening consequences that never came to pass.

It is not always about having the right words to say, but asking the right questions and giving the space to answer with vulnerability.