Plenty of addicts and alcoholics starting the journey of recovery from addictive disease can’t bring themselves to accept the spiritual program that’s helped so many. There are other options.

Faded drawing of man's head in profile, on old-looking, stained paper. The "brain area" is filled with gears.I began attending AA meetings early in my career. It wasn’t entirely voluntary- as a junior staff member I was assigned by supervisors on the psych unit to accompany patients to meetings, to protect them from who knew what (sobriety, probably…) My preconception of AA came from the docs and the University-trained psychologists: A quasi-religious organization irrelevant to the majority of alcoholics but useful for those dependent types who needed to surrender control of their lives to others.

But at the meetings I found the opposite: Far from being a haven for the devout, AA included many of the most skeptical folks I ever met. There was nothing slavishly conformist about their attitudes. They challenged every statement that wasn’t directly, factually obvious. They argued vigorously among themselves over right and wrong responses in situations I would have taken for granted. I can’t count how many times I heard the equivalent of “Hello, my name is Mike L., and I’m an alcoholic, and I think you’re full of…”

Members enlightened me. “You can’t think of AA as a religion,” one told me. “It’s more like the Chamber of Commerce. We come out of self-interest and stay because it’s mutually beneficial. And cheap.” Another explained, “I see AA as the antithesis of organized religion. Most of the people here bombed out of the churches they were raised in. They left because they don’t like the ritual, the rules, being told what to do. ” Over the years I encountered some amazingly altruistic, principled, mature people in AA who happened to be atheists and agnostics (and plenty of the opposite sort showed up sporting religious symbols and bumper stickers.)

In California during the 1980s, I watched James Christopher’s Secular Organizations for Sobriety (SOS) get its start. Other support networks have emerged since then, groups like SmartRecovery and LifeRing. One of my clients, a nonbeliever and a physician, made a particular impression on me. Although he’s an active atheist, working against prayer in the schools, he claims he owes his sobriety to the Twelve Steps of AA. I asked him how he reconciled the contradiction.

“It’s not contradictory,” he told me. “The Steps aren’t commandments, they’re suggestions. Nobody’s saying they were handed down by God; they came from the experience of a group of drunks, like me. They’re a proven method for staying sober, and they work.”

“But what about the references to God in the Steps?” I asked.

“It’s always ‘God as we understand him,’ and as far as I understand, God doesn’t exist.”

“So… what do you use for a ‘Higher Power?'”

“The group. And my own better nature, as I make contact with it during the meetings.”

Eventually he began attending Secular Sobriety meetings, and now considers himself a member of both organizations. “Sometimes people from one group or the other will pressure me to choose between them. But I don’t see why I should. I get something from both. Besides, I consider myself a freethinker, and going to both is something I freely think I should do.”

I’ve been watching nonbelievers recover from addiction for more than thirty years, and I’m grateful for what they’ve taught me about success. But there are still plenty of addicts and alcoholics starting the journey of recovery from addictive disease who can’t bring themselves to accept the spiritual program that’s helped so many. It’s nothing to worry about. There are other options.

This series will look at some of the basics of successfully building a sober, recovering life, even without “God.”

One important stipulation: Many of the nonbelievers I know are in fact, quite spiritual people- an illustration of the difference between spirituality and religion. Spirituality is expressed in many ways. A rescue worker who puts himself at risk to save someone in a crumbling mine shaft isn’t doing it for the salary. Likewise, while many religions do a great deal of good, we’ve all seen how the idea of religion can be twisted to serve selfish ends- it’s no accident that the Traditions of AA were designed to prevent charismatic individuals from exerting undue influence on the organization and its members.


3 Comments »

I am thrilled for anyone who achieves and maintains sobriety, whatever the method. Unfortunately, the version of AA I encountered while at famous 30-day inpatient facility was moralistic, rigid and left me hating myself. Worst aspect was the message that “This is the Way, the only way that works” and failure in AA equals downward spiral to ruin. I almost died trying to fit my square thoughts ito the round pegs of the 12-steps. Ultimately, I got sober in a DBT-based outpatient program with a gifted, compassionate counsellor. I later learned that research shows greatest success when patients are matched to programs that most suitable for their sensibilities.
The biggest problem I see now is awareness of and access to options. I am lucky to live in NYC where wide range of treatment exists. It breaks my heart to know that lives full of promise will leave this earth without the chance I was given.

Comment by Micah — November 3, 2019 @ 12:07 pm

Had another read of your post, Scott. Nice.
Atheism vs. belief in an intervening deity is neither here nor there in terms of recovery success. Like you, I’ve seen people getting sober over the last few decades. Since the 1970s there have always been fellow nonbelievers. The only disadvantage is in being in a minority. It can be a double stigma–stigmatized for being an alcoholic and secondly, being stigmatized by alcoholics for being an atheist. True, many could care less what we believe or don’t believe. It’s what we do that gets/keeps us sober, not what we believe.

But many in (the more dogmatic) treatment circles see atheism as a temporary spiritual immaturity, a smoke-screen for really being mad at god, or an intellectual hold-out from the only, one, real worldview–that of of loving god that grants sobriety, serenity and the like.

The largest growing subculture in AA is the agnostic/atheist groups. Still microscopic, compared the the larger whole, “freethinkers” groups have grown from 80 to over 200 from 2010 to 2014.

Some “talk the talk” and speak of their recovery in GOD acronyms but many won’t. They talk in a meeting the way they’d talk to anyone–not in a group-speak way.

Joe C
Rebellion Dogs Publishing
Toronto, Canada

Comment by Joe C. — January 16, 2015 @ 3:06 pm

November 6 – 8, Santa Monica hosted We Agnostics & Freethinkers International AA Conference. GSO staff, Trustees and delegates from around the USA joined their unbeliever brothers and sisters from The Philippines, The UK, Turkey, Span, France and dozens of Canadian provinces and USA states. In all, 300 attended this three day event of speakers, workshops and panels – all without prayer. Read more about it at http://www.aaagnostica.org or http://www.waftiaac.org

Comment by Joe C. (@Rebellion_Dogs) — November 17, 2014 @ 3:36 pm

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URL


Leave a comment

*


Subscribe to RecoverySI via Email


Top Commenters

24 comments
Joyce Goodale
12 comments
9 comments
8 comments
8 comments

New Content for People in Recovery


 



Most Viewed

Painkillers, from Two Sides

RecoverySI on Twitter